1. You are great person, who is trying to the right thing. Regardless of the horrible things your mate may be saying to you, you a：
   1. A Great Dad / Mom
   2. A Great Husband / Wife
   3. A Great Human Being
   4. Chances are high the opposite is true of the other person as well, regardless of how you have been treating each other.
   5. There will be that next relationship – don’t screw that over either. Regardless of how down in the dumps you may feel, there will be another person in your life.
2. The person you ultimately have to live with is yourself, so always try to do the right thing。Take the high road and :
   1. Set reasonable deadlines – but set them (More on this later)
   2. Make reasonable demands – don’t screw yourself, but don’t screw the other person either (This can be very hard, but do it)
   3. You might get screwed while taking the high road, but at the end of the day the person you ultimately have to live with is you, and you will be able to look yourself in the mirror and know you attempted to do the right thing.
   4. At the end of the day you want to be able to live with yourself. Once you can live with yourself, living with others becomes much easier.

If somehow I buried the points a little too much: Don’t take any crap, stand up for what’s right for you and the kids, and do the right thing (Don’t ever, ever hit the other person, and work on detaching yourself emotionally), you are a decent person and have 50% of the rights on the relationship, both legal and spiritual. Don’t let the other person push you around.

Why? Because here lately divorce has been a huge part of my life and many of my friends and family around me, and I have come to realize that many people, both women and men don’t know jack about it. (Oh yes – I like to cuss, so if such things bother you – don’t read this blog).

So yes – I intended to start writing about my personal experiences and knowledge about divorce, that will of course include all legal and non-legal entanglements. This blog however is NOT meant to be a legal reference no matter where you live in the universe. If it should cause you to think some things through and ask your legal aid some really good questions – awesome! (Not awesome like the hotdog or the man on the moon – see Eddie Izzard for complete reference – I recommend YouTube for such things)

BUT DO Not EVER TAKE THE LEGAL ADVICE of this BLOG over that OF Your legal Advisor! EVER! And like most things in this world, your mileage may vary.

Let’s start this blog out correctly by defining a few rules of engagement. If you have decided to get a divorce or you are seriously considering getting one, always follow the following rules:

1. Do NO harm to the children. Always put the needs of the children ahead of your needs or your spouse’s needs. This may be harder than it sounds and we will deal with it more as things crop up.
2. Things will get split 50/50, both debts and assets. And then things are negotiable from there. Don’t argue with me, I don’t want to hear what a dirty scum bag ass sucking sewer water spillage slurping toe jam jack ass your mate is and how they deserve to roast on a spit. No one in the court room cares. They really don’t, the lawyers will pull out the statues of the local state you live in, and divide things up equally based on how much income each of you have regardless of the atrocities each of you have committed. (Yes – certain actions may cause other legal actions to occur, and yes – theses could be negotiating points), but largely – no one cares – get use to it. It’s a hard pill to swallow. No honestly – they don’t care how much alcohol he envied, they don’t care how many women sucked his dick, they don’t care how many men she had banging her, and they really don’t care that she had that three way with the elephant and the donkey, while the weird ass gas station attendant filmed the whole damned thing. And they don’t care about all the damned things you screamed at each other either. Nor do they care about all the nasty e-mails. They just don’t care- they (The Lawyers), are happy to read them and listen and rack up the legal bills – but honestly it does not matter. They (The Lawyers) will pull out the statues, divide everything up and negotiate from there. – Honestly
3. Don’t divorce to get revenge – divorce to get your life back and make things right for you and the kids.
4. The only winners are the lawyers, who will make plenty of money no matter how amicable you are in separating.
5. Never, unless you are living below the poverty line use the same lawyer.

 Ok – that’s about all I have time for at the moment, I will likely add to this list soon and provide some more detail behind each. Please remember, all generalizations ARE false including this one, and there is no reason what so ever you should take any legal advice from this blog – Ever!  Nor should you take any advice from any blog anywhere. This is the internet you know! J

-CZ